Disappearing act... 
Thanks to all of you who messaged me about my disappearance. Very sweet of you to care. =)

As you may know, I was out of the country on a trip to Germany for Fetish Evolution. I just got back a couple nights ago and have been juggling wicked jet lag with a whole shitload of work, so I haven't been on here... Sorry!!

Germany was both good and not so good. We arrived a couple days before the event and ran into Kumi at the airport. Our ride was supposed to pick us up at 6:30pm but didn't get there til two hours later. We got to the hotel and checked in, changed, unpacked, and joined Kumi at the bar.

Bob and I crawled back to our room and passed out but were up again at 4am with jet lag in full effect. We relaxed for a bit then heard some noises which turned out to be Anastasia Pierce trying to sneak a stalker note under the door.

Isn't she the best? LOL Turns out Jean Bardot was next door to us and Anastasia was down the hall. We all went down to breakfast in time to see Darenzia and Ruby Luster arrive. Ruby's suitcase had been lost and didn't show up for another day and she was in quite a state over it. Once they had gotten settled, we all walked to the local grocery store to stock up. See, the wise folks in charge planned the event on a big holiday weekend which meant that the already sleepy town would be completely shut down Friday for Good Friday, most of Saturday, all of Sunday, and all of Monday for Easter. We did our best to stock our tiny hotel fridges with food and drink for the coming days as our only other choice was to eat in the hotel restaurant and bar.

After shopping and a nap half of us piled into Belgium Marc's car and the other half into a cab for the long drive to La Piazza shoes. Darenzia and Ruby bought some incredibly sexy heels while Anastasia and I and the boys watched them try everything on. La Piazza has some of my favorite high heels and it was a real treat to get to fondle them in person. ;)

After that, Marc, Bob, Nicholas and I drove over to Marquis which was about 20 minutes away. We spent some time chatting with Peter Czernich before doing a little bit of latex shopping in their store. BTW, the Marquis shop is really terrific, probably the largest selection of latex I've ever seen in one shop. (I want it all!!!)

Later that evening, we all met back up in the bar and the marathon of drunkening commenced. Heh... I don't drink alcohol, so I just watched the show. Let me tell you, this is one fun bunch of people and we probably had a better time in that little bar than we did elsewhere...

The actual Fetish Evolution events began with a meet and greet party in the hotel. Everyone we'd been hanging out with changed into latex and reconvened. That's kind of how the whole weekend went, actually. We'd hang out during the day in our civvies, then change and hang out in latex. Kind of silly if you think about it. There was an after party that I skipped... I had a shoot scheduled the following morning with the Rubber Sisters. I love them and actually dragged my gear all the way to Germany just for that one shoot. =) Samples soon.

The Expo took place on Saturday and Sunday in the hotel. In addition to the shopping (not as good as the Skin Two Expo since it was much smaller) they had scheduled a gallery exhibit and I was asked to display my photos. That's actually one of the main reasons I chose to attend the event. Well, after shipping my photos to Germany and being assured that they would take care of the framing, you can bet your ass that I was LIVID when my images were not displayed. I didn't get a straight answer until the Expo was almost over when I was told that they didn't get frames. Not even an apology. I basically spent a fuckton of money for absolutely nothing. (Can you tell that I am still upset?)

Later that night was the pre-party party. We had to take a shuttle to the location 30-40 minutes away (sitting the whole time in a corset, no less...). The event was ok. Jean and Anastasia did a couple performances and I spent some time with the Rubber Sisters, Tony Mitchell, and Kip. At about 2:30 we'd had enough. The first shuttle was scheduled to arrive then to start ferrying people back to the hotel. We lined up at the front door (in latex with no jackets) and waited, and waited, and waited. It was snowing and every time the door opened we moved closer to hypothermia. The shuttles were supposed to run every 1/2 hour and though we waited over an hour, none showed up. We finally managed to get a ride with someone though Darenzia had to lay across our laps in the back seat.

The party moved back into the hotel bar where we wreaked havoc until 6am when breakfast was served, then back to bed. It was like that every night, actually.

The next night there was a fetish dinner type thing. We went but chose not to pay 75 Euros for the meal so we hung out in the venue's bar for a bit then grew incredibly bored and went back to the hotel and to sleep. When the rest of the crew returned from the dinner, they came and woke us up and we grudgingly followed them to the bar. I'm actually happy for that because we had so much fun til, yep, 6am and breakfast.

The final, main event was pretty cool, though. The venue was impressive and not as long of a drive. Though I think that having it on a Monday night was a bad idea. I'm sure it would have been much busier on a Saturday.

I'm missing details, I'm sure. And some debauchery you just can't know about. LOL But, overall, I give the event a score of 5 or maybe 6/10. There were too many parties, we'd have been happy with just the main one and the Expo. They fucked me over with the exhibition. The planning was god-awful (no one knew when or where anything was happening, not even the people in charge). Having it on a holiday weekend meant we were trapped in the hotel with nothing to do all day long. I doubt I'd make the trek again.

So, yeah... I'm ungrateful and jaded. So sue me.

Silly TwoRocks 
Dear Mistress Steenee, Ma'am!

We r writing u 2.day on b.half of our 2.clients, Misters Rock & Rock (who, throughout the course of history, have also -- Miss.Takenly -- been called "Rock & Roll", sometimes).

We r writing u 2.officially notify u dat our 2.clients (the only 1s we have, actually) are royally pissed. (Yes, we are officially talking about rock & rock royalty here.)

U stated: "TwoRocks, you're TwoFunny. LOL"

Our clients asked us 2 notify u dat dere is no such ting as 2.funny!

2.stoopid? Certainly? 2.bad? For sure. We could go on and on, citing 2.x metaphors, but we are confident u got da picture.

But calling our 2.clients 2.rox 2.funny?

That is 1.grave insult, Mistress Steenee!

Had it not been for our intervention, Monsieurs Rocher & Rocher would have stormed your castle by now, broken down the door to your delightful dungeon, strapped you into that fiendish contraption that you don't want anybody to know about (but we do! we gots our spies!), and would have used that hi.tachi d.vice on hi on you without showing any mercy, whatsoever. (Yes. We can confirm that Misters Rock & Rock got their torturing diplomas at the famoustest torturer university of all, Gitmo Bay. In fact, the Herren Stein & Stein and the now in.famous Mister Jack Bauer were dungeon mates. Jack still calls our clients frequently during some tough 24 hours to get some new torturing ideas.)

A severe spanking (at your earliest convenience) has already become inevitable. (No, Mistress Steenie: not u spanking r&r... the other way 'round!)

And if we may add (yes, we may): it is a very mild form of punishment, considering the gravity of ur inslut.

So, the latex gauntlets have been thrown down, the weapon has been chosen (cat'o'nines), but our clients are generous enough to let u pick a time and place.

Choose wisely, Mistress Steenee!

Our clients expect ur answer within the next 24 orgasms of yours (IOW: the next half hour). Please send ur reply to:

emc2 {at} tworocks {dot} net

Pee-Ass... Our clients asked us to also notify u dat u may bring ur 2.weenees to da smack.down. Monsieurs Rocher & Rocher are officially not afraid of their lethal jaws. Maybe of their tail.wagging... (but don't tell them we told u dat!)

Administrator (Christine Kessler) 
TwoRocks, you're TwoFunny. LOL

And Gimpy... I wish you'd been able to come up. Though I know it would have been costly. Next year, I'm gunna schedule some extra time so we can freeze our asses off together. I'm sure you'll be wearing shorts, but I'll be in layers and layers trying to keep warm. LOL Miss you!!

I wish I had thought of the 'German Holiday fiasco' when you told me you were going. Yeah a 4 day weekend is nice, but when everything is closed... hell, it STILL fucks me up after living here for 6 years.

Sorry I couldnt meet you and Bob. I hope you will come back sometime in the future anyhow.


Silly TwoRocks 
Poor Steeneeweenee!

I would have been royally pissed, too, if I had spent a truckload of money on shipping my pictures and then not having them exhibited, and not even getting an apology from those disorganizers!

Still, I would have loved to hang out with y'all!

What a great crowd: my favorite Steenee (even without the Weenees), the Jean Genie, my favorite Swiss export Anastasia, the Kumi monster, lusty Ruby, Darenzia ("der Lenz ist da!" There's that German singing again!), and even another one of my favorite picture snappers, "Mista Fetishistas" Tony Mitchell...

And I would have joined ya, if I hadn't already been in the middle of a major relocation from "MiddleOfNowhere, Germania" to "Almost Heaven, South Bavaria".

I had heard rumors before that the folks in Essen were less-than-well-organized, and your experience obviously proves that those rumors were true.

I also concur that having the main party event on Monday night, instead of Sunday night, is a poor choice.

I was at the German Fetish Ball in Berlin last year (and hopefully I'll make it there again this year), and not only did I have "a ball" (actually, I have two, and thankfully, they are permanently attached... he-he!), but I've also spoken with a few people who performed, and those event organizers seem to have their act much better together than the Essen folks. So maybe that's something for you to consider for 2009. (Hey, in theory, you could even still make it to the 2008 event... it's the weekend around May 10.)

They also have this nice "meet & greet" event on Friday night, called "Kinky Cocktails", where one can actually sit down to have a nice chit-chat, sip on a beverage, and just be one's raunchy self. (Hey, they even have original "Afri Cola" in those original glass bottles from way-back-when at that "Kinky Cocktails" locale!)

Furthermore, they have a pretty big and well-organized fetish fair on Saturday and Sunday, all day, and the main ball event on Sunday night. (And it's no holiday weekend, so stores are open on Friday and Saturday...)

Hey, think about it... I'd be happy to be your "German tour guide", as I'm not just fluent in za language, but I've also lived in Berlin for a few years in the early nineties and know the city reasonably well.

Well, to quote Monty Python: "And now for something completely different"... may e-mail was kaput for a few dayz when I switched my website hosting over to a new provider so that I can finally get PervPal.com - "ThisSpace is OurSpace - Strictly for Grown-Ups(tm)" off the ground. I've had quite enough of that CensorSpace«...

Anyhoo... emc2 {at} tworocks {dot} net is a-working a-gain, so if you wanna talk dirty to me in private, or peddle some smut, or learn more about my plans for establishing world domination... err... I meant to say: peace... shoot me an e-mail!


Loco DosRocas out...


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